The journey to an adult diagnosis of ADHD or Autism is rarely a straight line. For many high-achieving women and executives, it is a path paved with years of silent struggle, confusion, and self-criticism. You may have spent decades wondering why you couldn't just "get it together" like everyone else. This history of unexplained struggle often results in a form of chronic, low-grade trauma—the trauma of feeling fundamentally flawed. Therefore, when you finally decide to seek answers, it is essential that the process is conducted with the sensitivity of trauma informed therapy . While our primary focus is testing, we apply these principles to ensure that the evaluation itself is a healing, safety-enhancing experience, not just a clinical procedure.
The Intersection of Neurodivergence and Trauma
It is common for neurodivergent adults to carry the weight of "little t" trauma. This comes from years of being told you are "too much," "too sensitive," or "not trying hard enough." You might be questioning if neurodivergence is at play because you are burned out from trying to meet these impossible standards. You wonder if life could be easier if you weren't constantly fighting your own instincts. A testing psychologist who understands this intersection knows that your anxiety about the testing process is real. We create an environment of safety and transparency, allowing you to explore these vulnerable parts of yourself without fear of judgment.
Creating Safety in the Evaluation Process
For a high achiever, the idea of being "tested" can trigger perfectionism and performance anxiety. You might worry that if you don't "pass," your struggles will be invalidated. We counter this by being transparent about what we are looking for. We explain that we are revealing the inner workings of your brain, not grading your performance. We validate your history of masking, recognizing that your ability to hide your struggles is a sign of intelligence, not deceit. This reframing is crucial for allowing you to lower your defenses and show us your true cognitive profile.
Why We De-prioritize General Coaching First
You might be tempted to jump straight into coaching to "fix" your productivity issues. However, without a deep understanding of your neurotype, coaching can inadvertently replicate past traumas by reinforcing the idea that you just need more discipline. We deprioritize general therapy and coaching in the initial stages to focus on the testing data. We need to know why you are struggling before we can suggest how to change. This order of operations respects your history and ensures that future interventions are supportive, not punitive.
The Executive Experience of Assessment
Our target audience of professionals and upper-income earners often feels an immense pressure to maintain control. The testing room (or virtual space) is one of the few places where you can relinquish that control. We work with folks of all genders who feel overburdened, offering a confidential space to unpack the reality of their daily lives. We see the executive who leads a team of hundreds but cannot initiate a personal phone call. We treat these disparities with curiosity and compassion, helping you understand them as executive function variances rather than personal failings.
Social Relationships and Historical Pain
Social interactions are often a source of painful memories for the undiagnosed. You see that you have struggled with social relationships throughout your life, perhaps feeling rejected or misunderstood. You wonder if the way your brain is built may play a role in this. It almost certainly does. By viewing these struggles through a trauma-informed lens, we help you grieve the connections you missed and understand the connections you made. We validate the pain of isolation while offering a new framework for future relationships based on neurodivergent authenticity.
Nothing Wrong, Just Different
A key tenet of our approach is that there is nothing wrong with you. The trauma you feel comes from the clash between your brain and the world, not from the brain itself. Our testing is designed to highlight this distinction. We identify your strengths—your pattern recognition, your deep focus, your empathy—and show you how they coexist with your challenges. This balanced view helps repair the self-image that has been damaged by years of struggle.
Implementing Supports for Relief
The outcome of a trauma-informed evaluation is a plan for relief. We determine and implement the supports needed to reduce the friction in your life. This isn't about adding more to your to-do list; it's about removing the obstacles that cause you pain. It might mean advocating for communication via email instead of phone, or scheduling downtime as a non-negotiable meeting. These are acts of self-preservation that affirm your right to exist comfortably.
Conclusion
Your past struggles do not dictate your future. By choosing an evaluation that honors your history and your humanity, you are breaking the cycle of shame. You are choosing to view yourself with compassion.
This process is about more than just a label; it is about reclaiming your story. It is about understanding that your brain is a beautiful, complex machine that deserves care and understanding. As you move forward, armed with the knowledge from your neurodiversity affirming assessment, you can begin to build a life that feels safe, sustainable, and truly yours.
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